Despite the crushing negativity of the title above, I can't really say that my life is anything but grand. In fact, a couple of nights ago, the Trouble & Strife and I shared a tender moment infused with the aroma of our impending 10th (Tin) anniversary and me saying something along the lines of "we've had a really good run these last ten years, and I wouldn't take any of it back." We'll take a little break here to allow you time to dry your eyes before we move on.
okay?
Regardless, there are a couple of things going on that have really been major drags, and in complete disregard for the maxim of LATENT, I've decided to get personal and put it out there in the hopes that some kind of cosmic karma will help me come to terms/fix the resulting problems. Or, at the very least, give me an avenue to vent:
1. I LOST ALL OF MY BOOKMARKS
I'm blaming this one on the T & S. She refuses to accept responsibility, but this I know: I went to bed and had bookmarks and when I woke up and got on the computer (after it had been used by the Boss) my bookmarks were gone. Gone. Finito. Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but I've been cultivating my bookmarks since I was on dial-up. The world wide web is vast place and I've spent many years finding outposts and oasisis (um...oasii?) amongst all the floatsam and jetsam and pet pages. From MAME controller pages (which had their own folder) to devious ways to kill time, to a webpage dedicated to fake bands that appear in various media, all non-essential web sites have ceased to exist (for me at least.) Sure, some of the bookmarks were simply time savers, I mean, how hard is it for me to get to netflix or boing-boing? But what about all those music blogs and reference sites and impossible-to-categorize sites with their long and unwieldy urls. Man, those are what bookmarking was invented for. I think bereft is the word I'm looking for here.
On the plus-side--my silver lining in the void, so to speak--is that I've spent way less time on the computer. I have a bunch of projects that I've been dawdling on and now I'll be able to get to them. Unless I devise some other time killer, of course.
2. I STARTED SMOKING AGAIN
Having been nicotine free (mostly) since an unfortunately sad visit to Maine in the middle of the Winter a few years ago, it is my very depressing duty to affirm that I have fallen off the wagon. It kind of crept up on me, but was cemented when I bought a pack of my very favoritist smokes (Nat Sherman's MCD) for the trip to Honduras. They lasted me the first week and the I was forced to smoke the local cheapies, which luckily for me only cost 30 lempiras, or around a buck-fifty. I stopped cold turkey after our return, but that only lasted a week. Then it was only at night, right before I went to bed. And now, well, I'm sure you get the picture.
Don't get me wrong, I'm only smoking between one or two a day (cigarettes, not packs) and in health-issue terms that's still healthier than being a non-smoker living in Los Angeles, but, it still sucks. The smell sucks and the smoke lingering in my hair and clothes sucks and the empty craving in the bottom of my stomache sucks and the skulking around sucks. The suckiest part of all the sucky things associated with my embarrassing fall from grace is that my son knows about it. So now, on top of all that suckitude is the cherry-on-topness of the devastating amount of guilt that setting a bad example for my son creates in me.
On the plus-side, there is no plus-side. It is bad and now I'll just have to find the strength inside myself to quit again. God help me.
BONUS DISAPPOINTMENT:
No more posts about Wednesday's Roller Derby adventure. What's the scoop?
okay?
Regardless, there are a couple of things going on that have really been major drags, and in complete disregard for the maxim of LATENT, I've decided to get personal and put it out there in the hopes that some kind of cosmic karma will help me come to terms/fix the resulting problems. Or, at the very least, give me an avenue to vent:
1. I LOST ALL OF MY BOOKMARKS
I'm blaming this one on the T & S. She refuses to accept responsibility, but this I know: I went to bed and had bookmarks and when I woke up and got on the computer (after it had been used by the Boss) my bookmarks were gone. Gone. Finito. Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but I've been cultivating my bookmarks since I was on dial-up. The world wide web is vast place and I've spent many years finding outposts and oasisis (um...oasii?) amongst all the floatsam and jetsam and pet pages. From MAME controller pages (which had their own folder) to devious ways to kill time, to a webpage dedicated to fake bands that appear in various media, all non-essential web sites have ceased to exist (for me at least.) Sure, some of the bookmarks were simply time savers, I mean, how hard is it for me to get to netflix or boing-boing? But what about all those music blogs and reference sites and impossible-to-categorize sites with their long and unwieldy urls. Man, those are what bookmarking was invented for. I think bereft is the word I'm looking for here.
On the plus-side--my silver lining in the void, so to speak--is that I've spent way less time on the computer. I have a bunch of projects that I've been dawdling on and now I'll be able to get to them. Unless I devise some other time killer, of course.
2. I STARTED SMOKING AGAIN
Having been nicotine free (mostly) since an unfortunately sad visit to Maine in the middle of the Winter a few years ago, it is my very depressing duty to affirm that I have fallen off the wagon. It kind of crept up on me, but was cemented when I bought a pack of my very favoritist smokes (Nat Sherman's MCD) for the trip to Honduras. They lasted me the first week and the I was forced to smoke the local cheapies, which luckily for me only cost 30 lempiras, or around a buck-fifty. I stopped cold turkey after our return, but that only lasted a week. Then it was only at night, right before I went to bed. And now, well, I'm sure you get the picture.
Don't get me wrong, I'm only smoking between one or two a day (cigarettes, not packs) and in health-issue terms that's still healthier than being a non-smoker living in Los Angeles, but, it still sucks. The smell sucks and the smoke lingering in my hair and clothes sucks and the empty craving in the bottom of my stomache sucks and the skulking around sucks. The suckiest part of all the sucky things associated with my embarrassing fall from grace is that my son knows about it. So now, on top of all that suckitude is the cherry-on-topness of the devastating amount of guilt that setting a bad example for my son creates in me.
On the plus-side, there is no plus-side. It is bad and now I'll just have to find the strength inside myself to quit again. God help me.
BONUS DISAPPOINTMENT:
No more posts about Wednesday's Roller Derby adventure. What's the scoop?
5 comments:
I've no new Roller Derby tales to tell. I haven't joined ... though I still dream. Too busy smoking I guess. A girl had so few oases of comfort left.
And if a girl had bothered she'd have noticed her typo.
Dude.
I just got on the patch.
Do the same, brother.
Why don't you do a system restore? That should bring back the bookmarks, I think.
Love you Enrique..you can do anything, especially quit smoking..
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