So Duke City was all abuzz recently about the announcement that the movie version of Will Eisner's The Spirit was set to begin filming locally because--and I'm quoting the Trouble & Strife here--"we're actually going to get real movie stars." She was referring to the fact that while the film-making industry has been booming (no pun intended) here in New Mexico, most people didn't figure the cast of Wild Hogs or the overrated Little Miss Sunshine quite cut the mustard. So, who were the "real movie stars" she was referring to? Scarlett Johansson and Samuel L. Jackson.
Whatever.
I figure now is the best time to start a series that I've been mulling over for a while. It will be a compendium of the many ways I'm different from the MOGs*--sure, that's a little self congratulatory, but true none-the-less. So, without further ado:
#1489 - I Don't Find Scarlett Johansson Attractive
Really. Not at all. First off, I'm not into blondes. I think it's important that I go there quickly. Second off, she can't act her way out of a paperbag. Some of you will ask what her acting chops have to do with her attractiveness, and to be honest, I don't really have an answer for that, except to say that for me it does. Sure you can point out her "attributes", but around these parts it is all about junk in the trunk, not how you pack that rack (D-MOG #37). The kicker, though, the thing that bugs me most of all: Her abnormally structured face, in particular, the freakish distance between her eyes. Those things are practically on the sides of her head. I swear if you stood her on a corner, she could see down each block simultaneously. I can't even watch her on television or in a movie without thinking about this comic book character
Yeah I know I'm in the minority, and you know I hear it when I admit this view to the MOGs, but I figure if she keeps releasing crap like The Nanny Diaries then some of that luster will wear off and I'll start finding a few new neighbors over here in the cheap seats.
Yeah I know I'm in the minority, and you know I hear it when I admit this view to the MOGs, but I figure if she keeps releasing crap like The Nanny Diaries then some of that luster will wear off and I'll start finding a few new neighbors over here in the cheap seats.*Most Other Guys. I figured you got it, but it never hurts to keep it real proper like.
6 comments:
Hey, my husband G is cannot stand Scarlet, so I guess you're not alone. Woody can't seem to get enough and I'm sure Soon-yi's not too happy about it.
G thinks Janeane Garofalo is hot, so go figure.
If I went for girls (which I don't in case you are dying to know) I'd go for Janeane in a hot second. Scarlett not so much. Although I've never noticed any freaky mutation in the distance between her eyes. I just prefer brunettes.
Best opening scene from a movie in the last 10 years, "Lost in Translation."
No question, she's hot, abnormal face and all.
And if you think she can't act, rent "The Island."
"nuff said.
Guilty pleasure!!!!
You are forgetting about her ANNOYING voice. She sounds like an 80 year old who has smoked 4 packs a day since she was 12.
Do you have a separate blog that lists the other 1488 ways?
No, but I've listed at least one more in the above and I'm hoping to get some more up here...unless that would be way to personal?
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